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[restitui]

XIV

TEMPERANCE

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[restitui]

thank you


that's the part we're still trying to figure out?

the d.v. dreamdrift is supposed to be this well-known cruise ship that anyone would be honored to board.
you hear only great things and that whatever happens on it, the people bring back fortune for their families or something like that.
they paid my disorder guardians a lot of money for me and dove, i guess.
but no one ACTUALLY knows what's happening there on shore?
like if we try to explain it, they'll just be all "oh that's nice sweetie".


because every person actually invited to the ship is brought by force magically and you can't escape
if you even think about it you trigger something.
we're called "performers" and we're supposed to take part in performances.
they're also not optional.
because the showmaster and ticketmaster want to see a story through?

if you're next question is "why us?"
🤷‍♂️
the showmaster said we're all Legends
and that as Legends we can't die
but it doesn't make sense since there's also Legends that are gods
i think the part where we're regaining past lives is also part of it
and someone said we weren't "scripted" like others one, like the people on land.

the showmaster once said that if we went back to land we might find our loved ones all asleep
but it's happening on boat, i think because they're not strong enough?
we don't have the explanation there.

[meforsaken]

seems like the sort of plot i'd orchestrate.
my theory for this realm has long been that we're merely the fae's playthings, that they've brought us here for their entertainment.
i suppose your captors are more up front.

do you like it here? i know you're apart from those you care for, but putting that aside.

[restitui]

we're definitely for their entertainment here.
i don't remember everything that he - the other me - experienced but i understand a lot of the notes?
they want people to be used as tools and amusement and who they are doesn't matter.

i like not being stuck on a ship and being able to sit in grass
but imo this is just another cage that feels more hopeless
stuff on the ship might suck a lot of the time i might have to worry if we accidentally kill my boyfriend or something
but it feels like we can do more about it, that we can end the story
and i want to see that through and plan really stupid dinner parties and own fifty pets with said boyfriend.

so i cant say i like it here
i dont feel like i belong and i know the other me doesnt want to be here either

[meforsaken]

if you do return to the ship, with your memories of this realm intact
what will you tell your boyfriend about me :3c

[restitui]

technically is was you but wasn't you, right?

idk
something like we were nothing more than a fleeting summer day?
or
that there was someone who needed to be seen and heard and loved for who they could be even for a moment



or also how it feels from my perspective,
i feel like i've been in a six month long performance and if i try to play along to the "role" they've given me, i can get back?
(which is not saying i said anything as a lie, i didn't)

[meforsaken]

odin's beard, i was joking. no need to get all mushy!

just for that, i am going to flirt with your mom so hard if she returns to this realm.

[restitui]

good thing i don't really super see her as a mom

(:
this is why you don't challenge an empath based telepath who's real superpower is emotional terrorism

[meforsaken]

i suffer every day for what. girlish whimsy?

[restitui]

i hope you weren't expecting another answer then:
yes

[meforsaken]

your family vexes me so, phoenix.

but for the record, there is no part of the loki that you met that isn't me. i've just grown since then. i'm not a different person.

[restitui]

what, did i do something?

i did't think you were. different, i mean. like i'm still


[ a pause like he hesitates to say the names, ]

i'm still billy and william and i'm also still me

[meforsaken]

and yet you've sectioned yourself off into three different people.

i'm not judging, merely noting the differences in our situations.

[restitui]

it's complicated?
there is more of a distinction from me and you though, right?

because william and billy were different people before the accident

and you've said it: you're always you.

[meforsaken]

and what of you? you've conveniently left yourself out.

[restitui]

I'm them
But i also dont want to make the same mistakes as them
I want to change and grow and live my own life
Isnt that partly what you wanted, too?

[meforsaken]

you're still deflecting. less than you were before, but still.

what sort of person do you want to be, phoenix?

[restitui]

where do you think im deflecting?

not to be cliche but a good person?
i know he kills people he cares about without meaning to
and I want to have enough control of my power to avoid that
i want to help people if i can but not at the risk of losing myself
Which he's really bad at

[meforsaken]

i ask because i think putting it into words may help to preserve your intent no matter what happens next

but also






what do you know of your powers?

[restitui]

for if something happens to this version of me?



not enough
but also enough
i know i can make things happen without truly thinking about it?
like create things and manipulate scenarios and stuff

[meforsaken]

something. anything. nothing.

would you know more?
i offered to train your other self but was rebuked for my assumption of multiversal constants.
but i believe you'd understand my interest in your powers if you allowed me to explain.

[restitui]

tbf to him you were right on the heels of the other billy mentally showing him his family and life as a means of saying they were the same
you kind of know why he we wouldn't feel that way now
i'd probably react the same way.


i do want to know more
i need to because i don't want something like that to happen again
but one of the things of the ship is we're regaining our memories? we're regaining our powers, too
idk what i have back exactly

but why do you have interest?

[meforsaken]

i tend to take an interest in those who are likely to become gods themselves one day.

[restitui]

[ a very long pause ]






your demiurge?

[meforsaken]

my demiurge?
phrasing it like that makes it sound as if we're partners! how scandalous!

[restitui]

no
No
I mean no that's not how I meant it

but the name stuck out to me because there's a producer that calls themselves demiurge
and they were half responsible for a reallg terri le game of guess who

so notable name? not a lot of good feels



What is a demiurge to you