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[restitui]

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[meforsaken]

oh i'm still offering! i merely wanted to be clear about what exactly i'm offering

and be certain that you're prepared for such tutelage

[restitui]

i'm okay with that

especially if assuming things return somehow to what they were
and i do return to estoria
i'm the only one i know of us around from any version of our universe
so maybe it's not magic 101 but anything is good?

[meforsaken]

then i believe it's your turn to choose the venue and snacks for our next date

[restitui]

your enjoyment for pastries hasn't changed has it?

or how do you feel about little sandwiches?

[meforsaken]

i enjoy both!

i told a story recently of my younger self(think pre-vikings) and gave him the character trait of being a tiny bit of a glutton. cute, right?

[restitui]

it's v cute
and for genuinely no nefarious reason
what did you make his favorite food?

also is this a now thing or a later thing?

[meforsaken]

nothing in particular. he wasn't the picky sort, couldn't be when the myth involves an eating contest.
please don't feel the need to make a traditional feast, midgardian cuisine has evolved in the last few centuries and i'm personally thankful for it.

a whenever you want it to be thing

[restitui]

good news: i wouldn't know exactly what a traditional feast would look like
estoria's traditions didn't follow earth ones and i've only got the modern history pack downloaded.


[ get it because regaining memories. he also has cultural/religious jewish knowledge, but that's neither here nor there. ]

how about in a couple of hours i'll text you a geoguesser?

[meforsaken]

i realize you wish to return to your realm for a variety of reasons but it does sound like a dreadful place when one considers that i don't exist there u_u (being an earth tradition and all)

👍
do try and make it challenging!

[restitui]

who says you don't exist? maybe you're a Legend like the rest of us.



[ He'll leave that for them to muse on. And then several hours later Loki will receive an image: The image is just of water - deep and murky. ]


[ There's really only a few places for water so when they eventually find their way to - assumedly! - the spring they'll find another blanket and an actual feast. Brisket (helped along by magic or something I know this takes hours okay,) fried potatoes, fresh bread and cooked vegetables, a few pastries and a pie, and some tea to drink. There might also be soda (this was actually magicked). he's dressed in this outfit because I desire it. ]

[meforsaken]

[A rectangular white comic book panel suddenly appears, and Loki steps out from it. At the sights and smells of this wonderful feast, they clap their hands together, thoroughly pleased. And for once, they're dressed in Midgardian clothing, looking a bit more similar to their younger self in a green hoodie and ripped black jeans. No shoes, though, that just seems silly.]

Now this is how one ought to treat a god!

[Loki plops down onto the blanket and begins digging in, not wasting a second with any more niceties. A few moments later, and their mouth full of bread, they remember what they're actually here for,]

Ah, right. Magic lessons, hm? And- oh! This is your first time properly meeting me, isn't it? What do you think?

[They flip their hair back and do a little pose. While they are a couple of inches taller, more feminine than before, and missing a tooth, the biggest difference is probably in how they carry themselves. That overwhelming sense of guilt no longer hangs over them.]

[restitui]

[ He doesn't know what he expects, but it's not that form of appearance anyway. He blinks and shifts back a little on the blanket reflexively - as if more room is needed and huffs a laugh: ]

Let's go with it's because you're a god, then.

[ And not because he stress cooks or likes to cook or anything - though both have been less in the past few weeks. Maybe it's simply the Disorderly beliefs instilled in him. He doesn't move to eat anything - yet - and tilts his head at Loki's question. ]

[ Thinks for a moment and then offers, ]


You're you and that's beautiful.

[meforsaken]

I'll accept a few lies here and there.

[they say fondly, a different sort of response than their usual retort. That it's not wise to lie to them. It's really not, but they'll look the other way for now.

It's with another mouthful of bread that they receive Phoenix's compliment. Yep, this is a beautiful gremlin. They swallow their food before speaking this time, and roll their eyes,]

How terribly cheesy. My whole narrative is about accepting oneself, though, so I can't deny that you've got the right feel of it.

[restitui]

You'd rather it be the lie, though, right? And I did make most of it for you, so still not a lie.

[ Just half a lie. A teeny, tiny white lie that doesn't hurt anyone. Everyone copes in their own ways and the part of making it for him - or anybody - is true. Phoenix has taken to enjoying cooking if it makes others happy.]

[ He huffs a laugh at the eye roll and shrugs a shoulder. Shifts to lean his weight against propped hands before answering: ]

So is mine. Also, I'm very good at terrible cheese, thanks for noticing.

[meforsaken]

I wouldn't rather it be one way or another. The outcome is the same no matter what.

[The outcome being delicious food that they can shove in their face.]

A lie is just a story in the end. But there's a connotation to it, an assumption of morals. Same with chaos.

[restitui]

[ The outcome IS delicious food. He huffs out a breath and shakes his head. Tilts his head in thought and answers: ]

Because both things are things that people assume are inherently negative and hurtful?

[meforsaken]

Aye, and so then we shy away from them. Reject them. But there's nothing wrong with telling a child a bedtime story. I exist because a human once told a lie. They told stories to explain the things they couldn't understand, and from that lie, the Ten Realms were born.

And the universe, any universe, would not exist as it is without chaos.

[they smile as they take a soda break and then continue,]

Possibility, remember?

[restitui]

[ In a weird way coming from the literal freedom and chaos Family helps quite a bit (who'd have thought!). He nods his head. ]

And possibility comes in all ways, right?

Finding a different end or meaning to a story, for example. Like, order is good, too, but too much of it is a bad thing. Things grow stagnant and can't evolve if things are always perfectly right.

[meforsaken]

Precisely. Which is why I won't tell you that your powers will never hurt others. Or that I know some secret as to how to use magic for only good. There are consequences to everything. There's always a price.

[They think of the Bifrost, which they had rebuilt at Thor's request. At the end of the story, it had to be destroyed, severing the tie between Asgard and Midgard.

It was a good story. And from that destruction will come a new tale.]

But if you can understand and accept this, you will have much greater control over your magic.

[restitui]

[ He's quiet as he listens and then quiet an even longer moment after. His fingers twisting into fabric as he exhales: ]

A price. Balance. For making things possible.

[ He shifts to pull out a hand to rub the back of his neck. ]

I've already hurt people - people I cared about. When I didn't know what I could do at all. They're dead because of me. [ A deep frown, worried and guilty- ] I've known it could happen again. Or I assumed it could, because it's not like I knew I was doing it in the first place?


[ quieting, tries again, ]

I know it's a part of me, but the idea of hurting someone I love because of it some day is terrifying.

[meforsaken]

If it's possible to hurt them, then it's possible to save them as well. Balance.

[There's nothing comforting in their voice, merely stating a fact.]

I was scared a lot as a child, scared of the role they would force me into. So I eventually embraced that role because I didn't know what else I could do. And then I was a scared old man.

[They laugh, somehow playful and bitter at the same time.]

I've killed those dear to me over and over again. And I'll continue to do so, if it suits the story. One would think I've become what I feared. Do you know what's changed?

[restitui]

[ Of course, it's not comforting. It's not even remotely consoling. A truth he's told himself would come even if he desperately wants to say it won't - that there will never be a life where he can just accept the consequences. ]


[ Isn't it better that he simply avoid others, to not get close, as the other William had done? No, he doesn't want that either. ]

[ His fingers twist further into fabric of clothes as he shakes his head: ]

I wouldn't want to presume.

[meforsaken]

[Loki shrugs,]

I stopped caring. About who or what I should be. I left behind my anger and fear. Easier said than done, though, yeah?

[They smile, the kind of smile they wish they could grant their past self.]

I was going to leave it all behind. Get out of the multiverse. I stayed to keep guiding the story. So that others might realize freedom as I have. Makes me sound real heroic, but I also just got back from murdering my brother.

Balance, right? I get to give my loved ones the story they deserve.

[restitui]

Ag[ ain: Not a good answer. No, it's an answer that works for Loki he knows - this Loki, specifically - but not him. He shifts a little to sit up more straight as he glances away. ]

I can't do that - I don't want to do that. Just stop caring, even if I could I don't -

[ He shakes his head. ]

But doesn't that, it makes you sound like you're trapped somewhere in-between?

[meforsaken]

Yes, same as I'm "trapped" somewhere in-between male and female.

[They do the finger quotes, but it's clear they're just teasing him. They like the in-between, is their point.]

But I know. You're the hero type, whether you want to admit it or not. I only wanted to present an alternative, another way of looking at things. Different perspectives can help you to develop your own.