True. Suppose I'm just sensitive. He could be mildly annoying, he could be a saint, but he would still be Loki and that's enough in the eyes of Asgard. Even Alligator Asgard.
Not in the same way. I know back home Sif's probably coming up with curses that have never been uttered in all of history just to describe me. But I don't care, she'll realize eventually why I did what I did.
... but when it comes to other Lokis, I'm- ... hm, protective? Whether it's an alligator, my past self, or even that evil future self. There aren't a lot of people who care for us, so I've taken it on myself.
[ ... He listens and then nods in understanding after a moment. Rubbing the back of his neck as he thinks about it for another moment and then asking, ]
But there were people who cared for you? You did have that at least.
Eh? Everything's conditional. Including my family. Especially my family.
And especially back then.
[TFW your mom is happy to sacrifice your happiness if it means Asgard and Thor will be safe forever.]
I also used to have a tendency to self-sabotage.
[Assuming the Young Avengers would be better off without him and not even attending that party.]
I have some very good friends now, though! There's Verity, and Doreen Green, and Escapade... But you can probably see why I responded so strongly to your kindness.
[ He frowns deeply at the thought, because family should always be something you can count on. ( He doesn't count his Disorder guardians, they never saw him as a son anyway). He thinks a family should try to help make you happy -
He doesn't voice that. ]
[ He also doesn't say that doesn't sound like a lot, even if he knows just one person believing in you can mean the world. He smiles a little. ]
Yeah, I can see it. [A beat. ] And what about here? You have people here, right?
[ Why? Because he worries, but this Loki is far more confident after all. Because he has to wonder, from some momentary shared bond, which is why he shrugs and confesses - ]
I don't think William does. Like, some of the Avengers say they'll help him and stuff but - I guess that'd feel pretty weird to accept when you don't know them.
[ Or remember the parents you'd have a shared connection with, let alone really see them as your parents. ]
I may be the sort who stands on my own, but I'm surprisingly likable.
[Which is to say it's easier to accept that others like you when you're not constantly seeking validation. And it's easier to be alone too, when you actually enjoy your own company.]
He's stubborn. I've tried reaching out, but I'm... also abrasive to some, I know. Honestly, I had decided to back off until we had our little tryst.
[ He rubs the back of his neck as he thinks about how to answer. If he should and decides he should: ]
You just kind of walked into it especially... after the other Billy insisting they were the same. Saying stuff about that probably didn't help when, like, he's still figuring out who he is or wants to be.
And what would you suggest I do in the future? I can't say if I'll follow through, but I'm curious if you think there's another way I should approach it.
I don't know but that somehow made it sound worse than it is.
[ The color stays even with the thoughtful frown. ]
Encourage letting him become who he wants to? Like, he's always kind of lived for other people and when he took steps to find himself he ended up here... with others telling him who they think he will be.
I think because there was another version with an arguably better grounding... he decided he wasn't needed? I'm just guessing. Like a different kind of trapped.
So even if what you know for him is all true, let him come to you about it?
He might. It's not like we're wholly different people. I just had a better start at the figuring out who I am part.
[ He thinks there might be some of that, too- his influence. Until today, he assumed he'd disappear and so he'd been leaving pieces of him behind. Things he thinks will help the other, should what is meant to pass does. ]
Even if he doesn't or I don't, he's still the kind of person to give people chances.
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... but when it comes to other Lokis, I'm- ... hm, protective? Whether it's an alligator, my past self, or even that evil future self. There aren't a lot of people who care for us, so I've taken it on myself.
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But there were people who cared for you? You did have that at least.
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And especially back then.
[TFW your mom is happy to sacrifice your happiness if it means Asgard and Thor will be safe forever.]
I also used to have a tendency to self-sabotage.
[Assuming the Young Avengers would be better off without him and not even attending that party.]
I have some very good friends now, though! There's Verity, and Doreen Green, and Escapade... But you can probably see why I responded so strongly to your kindness.
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He doesn't voice that. ]
[ He also doesn't say that doesn't sound like a lot, even if he knows just one person believing in you can mean the world. He smiles a little. ]
Yeah, I can see it. [A beat. ] And what about here? You have people here, right?
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[ Why? Because he worries, but this Loki is far more confident after all. Because he has to wonder, from some momentary shared bond, which is why he shrugs and confesses - ]
I don't think William does. Like, some of the Avengers say they'll help him and stuff but - I guess that'd feel pretty weird to accept when you don't know them.
[ Or remember the parents you'd have a shared connection with, let alone really see them as your parents. ]
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I may be the sort who stands on my own, but I'm surprisingly likable.
[Which is to say it's easier to accept that others like you when you're not constantly seeking validation. And it's easier to be alone too, when you actually enjoy your own company.]
He's stubborn. I've tried reaching out, but I'm... also abrasive to some, I know. Honestly, I had decided to back off until we had our little tryst.
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Please don't call it that.
[ He rubs the back of his neck as he thinks about how to answer. If he should and decides he should: ]
You just kind of walked into it especially... after the other Billy insisting they were the same. Saying stuff about that probably didn't help when, like, he's still figuring out who he is or wants to be.
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[they ask playfully, amused by his reaction.]
And what would you suggest I do in the future? I can't say if I'll follow through, but I'm curious if you think there's another way I should approach it.
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[ The color stays even with the thoughtful frown. ]
Encourage letting him become who he wants to? Like, he's always kind of lived for other people and when he took steps to find himself he ended up here... with others telling him who they think he will be.
I think because there was another version with an arguably better grounding... he decided he wasn't needed? I'm just guessing. Like a different kind of trapped.
So even if what you know for him is all true, let him come to you about it?
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[That's the sort of person this Billy is, or so they've gathered.]
Unless your memories and your consciousness influence him to do so.
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[ He thinks there might be some of that, too- his influence. Until today, he assumed he'd disappear and so he'd been leaving pieces of him behind. Things he thinks will help the other, should what is meant to pass does. ]
Even if he doesn't or I don't, he's still the kind of person to give people chances.
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[They're not sure what to expect, but if he does, they'll be slightly impressed.]
I do wonder what he'll think of our affair.
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I'm regretting everything.
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Why would you even suggest that.
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