pixieled inbox

[restitui]

XIV

TEMPERANCE

CODE

Comments

[meforsaken]

i suffer every day for what. girlish whimsy?

[restitui]

i hope you weren't expecting another answer then:
yes

[meforsaken]

your family vexes me so, phoenix.

but for the record, there is no part of the loki that you met that isn't me. i've just grown since then. i'm not a different person.

[restitui]

what, did i do something?

i did't think you were. different, i mean. like i'm still


[ a pause like he hesitates to say the names, ]

i'm still billy and william and i'm also still me

[meforsaken]

and yet you've sectioned yourself off into three different people.

i'm not judging, merely noting the differences in our situations.

[restitui]

it's complicated?
there is more of a distinction from me and you though, right?

because william and billy were different people before the accident

and you've said it: you're always you.

[meforsaken]

and what of you? you've conveniently left yourself out.

[restitui]

I'm them
But i also dont want to make the same mistakes as them
I want to change and grow and live my own life
Isnt that partly what you wanted, too?

[meforsaken]

you're still deflecting. less than you were before, but still.

what sort of person do you want to be, phoenix?

[restitui]

where do you think im deflecting?

not to be cliche but a good person?
i know he kills people he cares about without meaning to
and I want to have enough control of my power to avoid that
i want to help people if i can but not at the risk of losing myself
Which he's really bad at

[meforsaken]

i ask because i think putting it into words may help to preserve your intent no matter what happens next

but also






what do you know of your powers?

[restitui]

for if something happens to this version of me?



not enough
but also enough
i know i can make things happen without truly thinking about it?
like create things and manipulate scenarios and stuff

[meforsaken]

something. anything. nothing.

would you know more?
i offered to train your other self but was rebuked for my assumption of multiversal constants.
but i believe you'd understand my interest in your powers if you allowed me to explain.

[restitui]

tbf to him you were right on the heels of the other billy mentally showing him his family and life as a means of saying they were the same
you kind of know why he we wouldn't feel that way now
i'd probably react the same way.


i do want to know more
i need to because i don't want something like that to happen again
but one of the things of the ship is we're regaining our memories? we're regaining our powers, too
idk what i have back exactly

but why do you have interest?

[meforsaken]

i tend to take an interest in those who are likely to become gods themselves one day.

[restitui]

[ a very long pause ]






your demiurge?

[meforsaken]

my demiurge?
phrasing it like that makes it sound as if we're partners! how scandalous!

[restitui]

no
No
I mean no that's not how I meant it

but the name stuck out to me because there's a producer that calls themselves demiurge
and they were half responsible for a reallg terri le game of guess who

so notable name? not a lot of good feels



What is a demiurge to you

[meforsaken]

it's a title. a genre of god, if you will
there are demiurges across the multiverse. there was a primordial demiurge once, and now there is a demiurge that is yet to be.

none of which are my partner btw!

[restitui]

🙄 you're not going to let that go, are you?




and you think that's what he'll become
the other billy
and maybe me?

[meforsaken]

at the very least, your powers are connected to the demiurge in some shape or form.

the elder gods were born from the primordial demiurge. amongst them was chthon, the creator of the darkhold.
even if you've merely inherited your mother's connection to chaos magic, you ought to know where that magic comes from.

[restitui]

[ at least those are words he knows even if it's unsettling, ]

what is chaos magic, exactly?

[meforsaken]

what is chaos, exactly?

[restitui]

the upheaval and disorder of all things?
something that doesn't follow rules, or at least preset rules doesn't apply to?

[meforsaken]

there's your answer then.
i've always thought of it as possibility, personally.