[ It's not avoidance so much as guilt that doesn't have him reach out again. So much guilt - but then, he's always full of that, isn't he? He keeps busy at the shop because now he has a deal with that he didn't quite agree with but doesn't hate anyway to keep. ]
[ But he sees them, eventually, and it's not immediate he tries to make a connection. He knows there's one last thing he needs to do - should do - but it still feels weird. It's not like their specific relationship is suddenly better - it's probably worse - and really, would this Loki want to see it?]
[ The 'Do you have a moment?' text is typed and written and stared at for longer than he'd like to admit and.... Almost as if Loki reads his mind the text comes in. He huffs a laugh to himself, backspaces out of written text: ]
[Unfortunately, this Loki has less impulse control. And so, as soon as they receive that text, a large portal suddenly appears in Billy's apartment and they step through, as if this is a completely normal thing to do.]
Greetings, Billy Kaplan.
[Look, they set up the idea of them teleporting in what feels like ten years ago, they have to pay off the joke.]
[ Another moment he should have expected but doesn't. Thankfully, he's recovered enough from startling by the time the portal disappears he can just expel. ]
Hi.
[ Tightly! Just a little and then to the apology he shakes his head: ]
You don't have to apologize, but thanks. It's not like I helped at all.
[ okay well they got them there. which is why he sort of shrugs]
[ he's not sure he can say he could reject the apartment/business since it was a deal with a court ruler either but that's neither here nor there when he breahtes out, ]
As I said. It seems like this ordeal was good for you.
[They begin to pace around the apartment, like they've got some energy they need to get out.]
I lucked out as well. Although to be fair, I did put a few cautionary measures in place. I promised my Leaf lots of gossip so long as it hid from me if I took on the form of a child.
[This was after Kid Loki's network post, obviously. And Loki didn't really care if that version of them saw all their messages, the concern was for any of their actually younger selves.]
[ He doesn't feel as sure as Loki does, but that's because his replacement issues are currently still amplified so he decides to say anything on that. ]
[ Notably, Loki's restless energy may help them notice the package already settled on the table. ]
He's nice. More subdued than I am, which you might think is an easy bar to clear but I'd say I'm about average as far as Lokis go. I believe I told you, or I told Phoenix at least, but I'm much calmer compared to the other branch of my timeline.
[The other future Loki once travelled back in time to his father's boyhood and blew up a dragon with a bazooka.
So.
Loki stops suddenly and grabs the package, grinning.]
A knife would be considered a very thoughtful present in Asgard. Jotunheim too, for that matter.
[They unwrap it carefully, perhaps because of the heft, perhaps because of the knife joke, and perhaps because their younger self thought they would tear into it. They enjoy proving themselves wrong.]
It would be a very thoughtful gift to some members of the Disorder, too.
[ And when they unwrap it it's a kni-No, he's not that kind of Disorder despite Goose's attempts. ]
[ There are actually several things in the package, so they might to put one down for a moment or two. The bottom two are journals. The third item, resting atop the journals, is well made but isn't particularly overly done a light creamy green long-sleeved shirt. It's got dark green and gold markings engraved on it, reminiscent to the ones on the cloak. Simple, nice - it could be paired well with the cloak (as if he already thought ahead to the fact this Loki would decide the cloak was for them, because it was true - they're all Loki's. There is no Phoenix stitched into the inside of the shirt, but if they look close enough they might find a tiny winged bunny instead - no magic involved. ]
[ And, of course, the fourth item is a note. As promised it's significantly shorter than the one Phoenix had left the younger Loki. It reads as follows: ]
A Storyteller tells stories. That's what the Showmaster told me. You'd make a good Producer, are you sure you don't want to be one? That's what the Ticketmaster told me.
If I'm being honest with myself, especially being here, I don't think there's anywhere to go back to. Estoria sounds a lot like story, right? Someone suggested that we were just knock-off versions of ourselves, fanfiction.
I feel pretty alive right now and I don't feel like my life was a lie. If magick is about possibilities and I already brought myself back once, why can't I do it again?
I thought you'd find it interesting to hear at least. So, if I'm supposed to be a Storyteller than these are the stories I have to tell. You can throw them away or keep them, but at least I can say I left them. And who better to entrust them to?
Sorry, that I'm not quite over being afraid of what things might mean either. If the possibility is there, I'm going to find a way to hurt as few people as possible. Always.
Thank you, for everything. Again. Phoenix
[ WAIT I FORGOT WHAT'S IN THE ACTUAL JOURNALS. If Loki looks at the journal, there's two. One is Phoenix's story - specifically, an overview of life in Estoria and things he remembers. The second is actual stories, stories he wrote for the Showmaster to keep her company. If you want deets I'll give them. ]
[Loki takes the shirt in their hands, and then poof, it's on their body, replacing their other shirt and coat combo. It's a quick motion, especially when compared to how they used to use their magic.]
It's lovely, [they say with a tilt of their head and a gentle smile.
And while they're tempted to start going through the journals, they pick up the note first and read through it. They can almost picture Phoenix writing it, the comic panels forming in their mind. When they're done, they tuck the note into one of the journals, like a makeshift bookmark.]
I've got a lot of reading ahead of me, huh. Should help, whenever I'm itching to return to my own story.
[Loki lets out a sigh, and then chuckles lightly, remembering their younger self's comments about their under-eye circles. Part of the change in their appearance is a commitment towards an aesthetic, remembering what a lie is. A story told around a fire, folktales given life by their audience. Another part of it is just that they're tired.]
It's exhausting growing older. Ozma's more powerful than Tip, but she has so many more responsibilities too. I always thought it would be easier were I more selfless, and it's really not.
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text | un: loki
now?????
Re: text | un: loki
[ But he sees them, eventually, and it's not immediate he tries to make a connection. He knows there's one last thing he needs to do - should do - but it still feels weird. It's not like their specific relationship is suddenly better - it's probably worse - and really, would this Loki want to see it?]
[ The 'Do you have a moment?' text is typed and written and stared at for longer than he'd like to admit and.... Almost as if Loki reads his mind the text comes in. He huffs a laugh to himself, backspaces out of written text: ]
Yeah.
Present now.
Where do you want to meet?
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I can meet you downstairs?
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Greetings, Billy Kaplan.
[Look, they set up the idea of them teleporting in what feels like ten years ago, they have to pay off the joke.]
Sorry for ghosting you, by the way.
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Hi.
[ Tightly! Just a little and then to the apology he shakes his head: ]
You don't have to apologize, but thanks. It's not like I helped at all.
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I was going through a lot. It wasn't right for me to put it on you.
[Not like that would have stopped them, but they can still recognize now that they were doing a LOT of projecting back then.]
How have you been? Seems this whole ordeal was good for you, all in all. Even if it was a result of our captors' incompetence.
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[ Empath joke. It's not like he didn't take it, after all, but he hesitates a little at Loki's response before he can make it to the table. ]
... What makes you think that?
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[It's difficult to hide character development from the God of Stories, especially something as obvious as this.]
Phoenix wanted to leave his mark, to stay as a part of you. Looks to me as if he did.
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I wasn't part of those first two things - it's practically inherited. And you reached out to me.
[ He says it lightly. Tries to anyway, at the knot in his stomach. ]
Maybe he did or -[ a beat ] maybe I'm just wishing he did?
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[And he could've easily rejected the apartment and the business.]
Most of what magic is comes down to wishing for something and making it true.
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[ he's not sure he can say he could reject the apartment/business since it was a deal with a court ruler either but that's neither here nor there when he breahtes out, ]
Usually at the cost of someone else, yeah.
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[Though they're sure all the sciencey people would disagree with them.]
Was there a great cost in this case?
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I'm not sure?
If something did change, I mean. Other then me feeling weird about a lot of things... I don't think so.
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[They begin to pace around the apartment, like they've got some energy they need to get out.]
I lucked out as well. Although to be fair, I did put a few cautionary measures in place. I promised my Leaf lots of gossip so long as it hid from me if I took on the form of a child.
[This was after Kid Loki's network post, obviously. And Loki didn't really care if that version of them saw all their messages, the concern was for any of their actually younger selves.]
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[ Notably, Loki's restless energy may help them notice the package already settled on the table. ]
Did you get gossip to give it?
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[They are now circling the table, pointedly ignoring the package.]
I promised not to write fanfiction about us, and gossip falls into that category I figure.
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... I definitely appreciate you not telling stories about us to the Leaf, yes.
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[Realizing how that sounds, they add,]
The other other Loki. The one who's not me? From your multiverse.
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I think I met them once.
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[The other future Loki once travelled back in time to his father's boyhood and blew up a dragon with a bazooka.
So.
Loki stops suddenly and grabs the package, grinning.]
You really didn't have to do this, you know.
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[ It's a joke - Mostly, but he does mean it. ]
[ Loki stops then and grabs the package which is notably heavier than they'd received previously. He shakes his head. ]
I didn't do it. [ ... ] Not exactly. The Disorder were known for gift-giving and hospitality among criminal activities. It could be a knife.
[ It is, of course, not a knife. ]
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[They unwrap it carefully, perhaps because of the heft, perhaps because of the knife joke, and perhaps because their younger self thought they would tear into it. They enjoy proving themselves wrong.]
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[ And when they unwrap it it's a kni-No, he's not that kind of Disorder despite Goose's attempts. ]
[ There are actually several things in the package, so they might to put one down for a moment or two. The bottom two are journals. The third item, resting atop the journals, is well made but isn't particularly overly done a light creamy green long-sleeved shirt. It's got dark green and gold markings engraved on it, reminiscent to the ones on the cloak. Simple, nice - it could be paired well with the cloak (as if he already thought ahead to the fact this Loki would decide the cloak was for them, because it was true - they're all Loki's. There is no Phoenix stitched into the inside of the shirt, but if they look close enough they might find a tiny winged bunny instead - no magic involved. ]
[ And, of course, the fourth item is a note. As promised it's significantly shorter than the one Phoenix had left the younger Loki. It reads as follows: ]
A Storyteller tells stories.
That's what the Showmaster told me.
You'd make a good Producer, are you sure you don't want to be one?
That's what the Ticketmaster told me.
If I'm being honest with myself, especially being here, I don't think there's anywhere to go back to.
Estoria sounds a lot like story, right?
Someone suggested that we were just knock-off versions of ourselves, fanfiction.
I feel pretty alive right now and I don't feel like my life was a lie.
If magick is about possibilities and I already brought myself back once, why can't I do it again?
I thought you'd find it interesting to hear at least.
So, if I'm supposed to be a Storyteller than these are the stories I have to tell.
You can throw them away or keep them, but at least I can say I left them.
And who better to entrust them to?
Sorry, that I'm not quite over being afraid of what things might mean either.
If the possibility is there, I'm going to find a way to hurt as few people as possible. Always.
Thank you, for everything. Again.
Phoenix
[ WAIT I FORGOT WHAT'S IN THE ACTUAL JOURNALS. If Loki looks at the journal, there's two. One is Phoenix's story - specifically, an overview of life in Estoria and things he remembers. The second is actual stories, stories he wrote for the Showmaster to keep her company. If you want deets I'll give them. ]
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It's lovely, [they say with a tilt of their head and a gentle smile.
And while they're tempted to start going through the journals, they pick up the note first and read through it. They can almost picture Phoenix writing it, the comic panels forming in their mind. When they're done, they tuck the note into one of the journals, like a makeshift bookmark.]
I've got a lot of reading ahead of me, huh. Should help, whenever I'm itching to return to my own story.
[Loki lets out a sigh, and then chuckles lightly, remembering their younger self's comments about their under-eye circles. Part of the change in their appearance is a commitment towards an aesthetic, remembering what a lie is. A story told around a fire, folktales given life by their audience. Another part of it is just that they're tired.]
It's exhausting growing older. Ozma's more powerful than Tip, but she has so many more responsibilities too. I always thought it would be easier were I more selfless, and it's really not.
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animal death cw
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