You made some mistakes. Everyone does when they're young. Thor made lots of those mistakes.
And it is understandable to regret those mistakes. There are things we all regret, yes? But there is a difference between the follies of youth, and the decision to take another's life.
I vaguely recall someone telling me that even if I had made that decision, the fact that I regretted it still defined me more. I wonder what that means for those where no decision was made, and the regret is there all the same.
[ Rude, Loki, you aren't supposed to use his own CRAU self's words against him. It counts for others, it doesn't count for him. He takes a breath and moves to sit at the table without looking up. ]
Mistakes aren't supposed to end in someone dying.
[ That's the important part. ]
I don't want it to happen again and it could. I didn't even know I was doing any of it at the time. If I did - [ He would have stopped. He didn't know. ] I still killed them, my mind did. I can't just ignore that.
Mistakes are mistakes. There isn't any "supposed to".
[But they know they're coming at this with the reference point of a god. They've killed plenty of people on purpose, they have no clue how many they might have killed accidentally.
But... to get through to Billy, they'll have to approach this from a more human mindset. So they frown, and let out a sigh.]
... I killed Strange's dog. [Loki does not sound proud of this fact, they don't even sound cooly indifferent or ominous, as they have when speaking of killing their family members. Genuinely, they still feel bad about this.] It was an accident, not something I planned for and not even something done by my hand. The pup had a bad heart and... he got worked up, seeing Stephen and I at it.
But fretting over it, punishing myself for it, it would do nothing. I can't undo what's been done, nor is it something that I can ever make up to Strange, no matter how many tentacle monsters I expel from his house.
So, I did what I could. I cast a spell to give the dog a spectral form. It's not a perfect fix, not by any means, but now Doctor Strange has a very adorable ghost dog who rightfully hates my guts.
You can't ignore it, no, but you don't have to let guilt override your very being. Take it from me, the expert in doing exactly that.
[ "You don't have to let guilt override your very being," is such a laughably on the nose thing to say to a kid who's literally done that every day for three years. He can't say that - And Loki probably already has that sense anyway. ]
[ So his fingers twist into the fabric of the thumb holes on his sweater for want of something to do. There's no point in apologizing to or consoling Loki, they're not saying that for it. A fact that washes over him quietly as he listens on. ]
[ His mouth twitches onward. ]
There isn't even anything I can do for them. Not really. [ The little monument in Agatha's basement doesn't make up for it at all. He doesn't know how not to feel guilty - he doesn't say that, Loki definitely doesn't know that. ]
I've been trying. [ His hands shift - to not feel guilty, he means. ] It isn't that easy.
[ Obviously, but he wishes he could not feel swallowed whole by it - all of it. ]
Regardless, I'll have to steal the idea of this Road thing some time. I've just been trapping Thor in pocket dimensions with rune riddles. Sounds lazy in retrospect.
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Billy Kaplan, you cannot claim to have killed three people and then explain all their deaths away.
It does a disservice to those of us who actually have held others' lives in our hands.
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Mrs Davis was definitely because of me and the trial. And none of them would have been in the positions they were in if it weren't for me.
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And it is understandable to regret those mistakes. There are things we all regret, yes? But there is a difference between the follies of youth, and the decision to take another's life.
I vaguely recall someone telling me that even if I had made that decision, the fact that I regretted it still defined me more. I wonder what that means for those where no decision was made, and the regret is there all the same.
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Mistakes aren't supposed to end in someone dying.
[ That's the important part. ]
I don't want it to happen again and it could. I didn't even know I was doing any of it at the time. If I did - [ He would have stopped. He didn't know. ] I still killed them, my mind did. I can't just ignore that.
animal death cw
[But they know they're coming at this with the reference point of a god. They've killed plenty of people on purpose, they have no clue how many they might have killed accidentally.
But... to get through to Billy, they'll have to approach this from a more human mindset. So they frown, and let out a sigh.]
... I killed Strange's dog. [Loki does not sound proud of this fact, they don't even sound cooly indifferent or ominous, as they have when speaking of killing their family members. Genuinely, they still feel bad about this.] It was an accident, not something I planned for and not even something done by my hand. The pup had a bad heart and... he got worked up, seeing Stephen and I at it.
But fretting over it, punishing myself for it, it would do nothing. I can't undo what's been done, nor is it something that I can ever make up to Strange, no matter how many tentacle monsters I expel from his house.
So, I did what I could. I cast a spell to give the dog a spectral form. It's not a perfect fix, not by any means, but now Doctor Strange has a very adorable ghost dog who rightfully hates my guts.
You can't ignore it, no, but you don't have to let guilt override your very being. Take it from me, the expert in doing exactly that.
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[ So his fingers twist into the fabric of the thumb holes on his sweater for want of something to do. There's no point in apologizing to or consoling Loki, they're not saying that for it. A fact that washes over him quietly as he listens on. ]
[ His mouth twitches onward. ]
There isn't even anything I can do for them. Not really. [ The little monument in Agatha's basement doesn't make up for it at all. He doesn't know how not to feel guilty - he doesn't say that, Loki definitely doesn't know that. ]
I've been trying. [ His hands shift - to not feel guilty, he means. ] It isn't that easy.
[ Obviously, but he wishes he could not feel swallowed whole by it - all of it. ]
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[By continuing the story, growing as a witch. But,]
I know it's difficult. Trust me, I know.
[They are no longer being crushed by guilt like their past self, but that doesn't mean they've forgotten how it felt.]
I wouldn't suggest taking my approach of a complete ego death, [Loki says with a bit of a laugh,] but part of it does just take time.
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[ You can't have an ego death when you barely had one to begin with - No. He tries to laugh anyway, ]
Given all of the Road stuff was practically to find myself as well as Tommy... Doing that would definitely make it in vain.
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Regardless, I'll have to steal the idea of this Road thing some time. I've just been trapping Thor in pocket dimensions with rune riddles. Sounds lazy in retrospect.
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I think you know what I have to say to that.
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yeah don't take his potential player plot from him loki!!! i'm kidding]A DND campaign could be fun.
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Hey, no one said you had to.
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[They give a little pout and open up a portal, gathering up all their goodies to take along with them. Before they leave, they do offer a quick,]
... thank you.
[and then they're gone.]