restitui | limelight

[ He tilts his head in consideration - does not say what he secretly thinks for the first part and smiles a little tentatively: ]

Do we need an icebreaker?

[ It's a light remark that's followed by the folding of his hands on the table. ]

I'm fine? [ A touch of a question, but it sounds enough of a statement it could pass. He moves immediately - ] How about you? Doing okay? It must be a pretty big change being here and all.

I think they get conversation flowing easier, although between you and me? I hate the icebreaker games they make us play on this damn ship.

You sure? You and Forte are giving off the same vibe to me a bit; and I know Forte isn't fine.

It's a nice change of pace, to be honest! Something new can distract you from things that would otherwise get to you, don't you think? Like that nagging feeling of why did I even come back here? I know it's helping me, heh.

Yeah, well, when the icebreaking has an ulterior motive of visions, prizes, and not getting punishments... It takes a different flavor.

[ He shrugs a little as he says it though the remark earns a pause - ]

I just have stuff to think about, that's all. But you're right about Forte.

[ A small nod and then a breath. ]

Why did you come back, then? If something needs to help you be distracted from all of it, I mean.

Before I answer, why do you think I came back? Got any ideas about why most of the others came back?

That depends on the person and I don't know you that well.

There's a range? People who are curious about the Legends and want the answers. People who've been shown another life and want to reclaim it however they can. People who think that being here helps people, because others can't take their place. People who want to be here because want to protect people they care about.

... or people who are here because they believe they can't be a person anywhere else.

Oya... you're pretty in tune with people around here, it sounds like.

Someone told me that they were coming back because all their friends were returning and they didn't want to be left behind. At the same time, they're afraid that coming back here means they'll watch all those friends become strangers. That's something that could need distracting from thinking now that they're here, right?

It's a blessing and a curse.

[ mildly humored. but he considers a moment, pulling the hot cocoa to him as he asks: ]

So you're doing it to distract them and not for yourself?

[ he chuckles. ]

Nah nah. I'm just saying that even if you're uncomfortable or not really feeling optimistic or better to be here than ... back there, your reasons for coming back are still more likely than not pretty valid. Basically, it's okay to complain about choosing to come back here, I think.

Is that a generalized "you" or a you pointing at me or...?

Edited 2025-05-23 03:06 (UTC)

Probably depends if it strikes home with you which kind of you it is.

[ tilts his head ]

It also depends on if you're trying to avert the question.

[ his laugh is airy now as he goes to put marshmallows in his hot chocolate. ]

Not so! I'm just trying to gauge which angle I should best tell you the answer from.

[ He raises a brow. ]

You don't have to tell me it at an angle. You can just say it in whatever is feel is true.

[ he shrugs a little moving to take a drink but first: ] I'm not going to flinch or whatever.

Edited 2025-05-23 03:18 (UTC)

Oh? Good to know, let's cut to the chase then. It's been so tiring trying to not say things that people generally dislike hearing.

I came back to find a reason to live or a way to die.

[ To his credit: He doesn't flinch. He does stiffen in surprise at how easily he switches to it. And even if he doesn't quite feel things from him, he doesn't think it's a lie. It's why the drink goes down and his brows furrow together. ]

... And you think that's something the ship can give you? Why?

A way to die? Yeah. A reason to live? Not sure.

Well, supposedly we're all immortal so you might have trouble with the first one.

Mild.

[ He quiets as he looks at the drink and for a brief moment - even to Sam who knows him little he's perhaps not the same kid. Quiet. Still. Like he's sucking in the world around him.

He bites the inside of his lip. ]

I'm not sure that's an answer you'll get here. Or, maybe it will be but that's - maybe not the reason you should be here?

[ hums before asking gently: ]

Do you know what the most obvious way to become a Legend is?

No?

[ immediately: ] I don't care about becoming a Legend I care about the people behind them.

How so?

... Not sure how to describe caring about people as more than that, honestly?

[ a beat. ]

I guess it's like if we assume those that are "Ghosts" are like us and also "Legends" or on the way to become Legends or whatever... They've also been forgotten. No one on Disorder cared about them and the only thing people are interested in is getting information from them.

Which, yeah, I get but - they were still people. They are still people - just like us. It'd suck to only be cared about because I might be useful or whatever so I... try to talk to them and visit? And stuff. I don't ask about any of that and -

[ shrugs. ] I don't know what I'm trying to say. Just, that's how I "care" in that case. I know it probably sounds ridiculous.

Edited 2025-05-23 03:55 (UTC)

Ah, I see!

Not at all. I just wonder...

[ he takes a sip of his hot chocolate. ]

In a world where too many memories strips us of our humanity— our ability to care for others—how will you overcome making sure they are all not forgotten?

[ The way Sam asks the question is with actual interest rather than any condescending tone or attempt to 'show' why his way of thinking is right or wrong. It's pure interest, intrigue and genuine curiosity on what Phoenix and his point of view has to offer for such a dilemma. ]

[ Sincerely, seriously, and immediately with no room in his headspace for another choice: ]

Literally not an option.

...Hmm?

[ go on. ]

First: vision selves real or fake?

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