restitui | limelight

How so?

... Not sure how to describe caring about people as more than that, honestly?

[ a beat. ]

I guess it's like if we assume those that are "Ghosts" are like us and also "Legends" or on the way to become Legends or whatever... They've also been forgotten. No one on Disorder cared about them and the only thing people are interested in is getting information from them.

Which, yeah, I get but - they were still people. They are still people - just like us. It'd suck to only be cared about because I might be useful or whatever so I... try to talk to them and visit? And stuff. I don't ask about any of that and -

[ shrugs. ] I don't know what I'm trying to say. Just, that's how I "care" in that case. I know it probably sounds ridiculous.

Edited 2025-05-23 03:55 (UTC)

Ah, I see!

Not at all. I just wonder...

[ he takes a sip of his hot chocolate. ]

In a world where too many memories strips us of our humanity— our ability to care for others—how will you overcome making sure they are all not forgotten?

[ The way Sam asks the question is with actual interest rather than any condescending tone or attempt to 'show' why his way of thinking is right or wrong. It's pure interest, intrigue and genuine curiosity on what Phoenix and his point of view has to offer for such a dilemma. ]

[ Sincerely, seriously, and immediately with no room in his headspace for another choice: ]

Literally not an option.

...Hmm?

[ go on. ]

First: vision selves real or fake?

Real as you or me and those "ghosts," even if in another place and time.

Yeah.

So if they're real then I'm the reincarnated son of a witch and an android. I'm their literal wish come true. I shouldn't even exist or be real, but here I am.

[ a beat okay so that's barely an explanation. ]

Did you know I'm an amnesiac? Here and there. It's - part of the reincarnation package. I only remembered a name there. My twin's name - I couldn't remember anything else. But eventually I was able to remember the moment we died and that let me bring him back from just a memory.

"Family is forever. We could never really leave each other even if we tried."

[ he's not sure that even gets to half the explanation but- ]

Edited 2025-05-23 04:34 (UTC)

[ there a lot of potential things here, but Sam isn't quite sure what line of thinking Phoenix is going down. Still, he is much not interested in hearing more rather than less. ]

So are you suggesting that memories can't take away our humanity? Or that you can hold onto your memories and retain your humanity here? Or...?

[ A pause. He shakes his head. ]

I'm saying I refuse to let that happen. I won't forget who I am. I will always be me. Whoever I decide that is - all of it. That everything about who I am and where I come from counteracts that and I'll find the power to make sure it stays that way.

Which I know sounds like wishful thinking, but I came from wishful thinking. I'm going to believe in it. For all of us.

And who's to say that's not a misleading? A world where too many memories makes you lose your humanity?

It feels to me like the world forgot them and in doing so they started losing who parts of them are. There's a reason why talking to the "Ghosts" is encouraged and why they respond more the more you talk to them. There's a reason we're being told their stories. There's a reason no one else seems to really know who they are.

Maybe people with too many memories - a too long life or whatever - change and forget what it's like. But I -

No. I feel too much to believe there will be a day where everyone here forgets their humanity.

It could be, but two of the "ghosts" in Cirrus suffered this ailment or whatever we might call it. So unless the ghosts are lying, it probably isn't misleading.

[ Frowns, but just as stubbornly: ]

Then we rewrite it.

Oh? I like that sound of that. Has a promising ring to it.

[ huffs a breath that'd be more of a laugh if he wasn't still serious: ]

We're going to find a way. I refuse to let that be the end for anyone here.

That's the spirit. And that makes the "a lot of things" on your mind just a tiny bit easier to digest when holding onto conviction like that, too, maybe?

[ FR huffs a laugh with a deep breath: ]

Definitely not.

Well, one step at a time and all that.

[ shrugs a little, ]

Yeah. Anyway.

Back to the original question that you're very good at veering away from: The ship isn't going to give you a reason for living. You will. The things that motivate you and the people and -

Deciding who you want to be and what you want to do. The ship'd only be like a tool to find it? Like anywhere else. A really bad one at that.

Edited 2025-05-23 06:18 (UTC)

Oh, but did you know it's been shown that when people are together in inherently dangerous or otherwise perceived dangerous situations, that they're more willing to take risks in terms of emotional connection and bonding with each other? Kinda forces your hand a bit.

And I mean, I do have the alternative.

Edited (autocorrect pls) 2025-05-23 06:38 (UTC)

... you're just making it sound like you need the adrenaline to feel you have a connection with people and that's just wrong.

What's the alternative?

Hey, I actually read about that! I have no firsthand experience in it, and I've been in plenty of adrenaline-fueled situations.

...Aha, I told you already. A way to die.

Not a real option. Vetoed.

[ The first part is an immediate response. Not heated, just direct. The second comes from the quiet stillness.

A hand tightening around the mug of the cup he hadn't returned to drinking from. He takes a moment to sort through the thoughts he has before digging through the words he thinks are the right ones - ]

Would a better rephrasing being - you're hoping that the "reason for living" comes from feeling something?

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