restitui | limelight

It is.

And you can think about it as much as you want? I can just listen.

Yeah. I guess it's just - what you said definitely makes sense, I don't want to discount that or act like it didn't matter or anything. I think it's just a matter of like... Knowing something versus knowing something, you know? It was kind of a big shock.

Yeah, your experiencing it now. That matters a whole lot more. I just don't want you to think your existence is bad, but maybe I'm projecting a little -

[ he shakes his head - ] Is there anything I can do for you?

Edited 2025-08-09 22:02 (UTC)

...Stay for a while? And tell me how you're feeling.

I wasn't planning on going anywhere.

... Weird, but in a different way.

Weird how, then?

Weird as in I need to stop thinking as it in: I have magick and more like I am magick.

So... What happened when you tried to give it up?

[ can he just ]

[

]

Edited 2025-08-09 23:12 (UTC)

... my theory is that getting rid of magick, which part of the me in visions was born from, also got rid of the part of me that was "Billy". But the parts that are William and Phoenix were still here, so I could still kind of function?

Edited 2025-08-09 23:17 (UTC)

Sort of function isn't a great baseline... How are you feeling about it now, though?

I'm fine now. My powers came back right before bingo started.

[ but that's not what he means so he shrugs, ]

Complicated? It means I can't get rid of them if I wanted to. Not yet.

I know you weren't 100% on getting rid of them in the first place, but... Does it bother you, knowing that you couldn't even if you wanted to?

[ For a moment, he looks like he might not respond. ]

... Yeah, I mean Goose keeps trying to convince me that I was born to be a hero and a protector. Then the others, they said I could use it to help others and I tried believing that but -

Then I learned what really happened on the Road and I don't want to repeat it and I'm not entirely sure I could control it.

...That must be really scary. Or at least - I'd be really scared, in that position. But if you could find a way to control it, would you want to keep it?

[ Fidgets. ]

I don't know? If I could help people then yeah, I'd want to help people, but also I'd really like to be just normal for a bit. That sounds stupid - But at least for now I need to practice with it every day and it's why I got this -

[ He pulls a book from his pocket and sets it on the ground, ] And I'll figure it out. It'll be okay.

[moving to take his hand]

...If this is making you uncomfortable, we don't have to talk about it right now, you know? But I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to have to deal with them at all. You can help people with or without your magic. You've helped me a lot without using it.

[ squeezes his hand ]

I wish I could help more.

[ but after a moment he shakes his head. ]

It's just something we've talked about before and I know it's different because it's not like I had confirmation or know how important it was to my existence or whatever - but it's not something I want to get stuck on more than I have. You and everyone else don't deserve that.

Edited 2025-08-11 22:53 (UTC)

I think you help a lot more than you know.

[squeezes his hand in turn]

And - okay, I'm not going to say you should be stuck on it or anything, but if it's still bothering you, don't feel like you can't talk about it just so I don't worry.

[ offers a small smile, ]

It is going to bother me, but I've got you and a few other people who will help. And at least I know what could happen.

Besides, you're definitely going to worry just like I'm going to worry about you.

[after a pause]

You know you can tell me anything, right?

I know and I do try to tell you most everything, especially now. Not that I didn't try to before and maybe you don't know everything -`

Why do you ask?

[after a moment]

Sorry, I don't mean to push or anything. I just want to make sure you know. And that, you know - if there's something you'd rather not talk about, you can say that, too.

I don't think you're pushing. And I do want to talk about it more sometime, but for now it's okay? I don't want to think about it more right now. I just -

Want a few moments with you, if that's okay?

[ It's not a lie, even if there is some worried thoughts about it still that scatter before he adds - ]

I did need to tell you something, though. Now or later.

[nods, after a moment]

If you want a little while without having to think about anything big, I can definitely do that. But if you want to tell me whatever it is now, that's totally fine, too. Up to you.

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