Not to state the painfully obvious: But you weren't always into goth fashion.
Not just before the amnesia, too.
Your early weeks were spent wearing whatever it was your adoptive parents bought for you. You nodded, smiled, and thanked them appropriately. In the beginning it hadn't mattered - there was too much for you to deal with otherwise.
Months later you would pierce your ears for the first time. And then the next month you bought finger nail polish - an electric blue. Then another ear piercing and another. You discovered eyeliner and then -
One day, by chance, after a failed attempt at knitting your own sweater ( because you decided learning to do that was easier than asking for more clothes when they'd say it was perfectly fine) you're filled with fashion envy. You scroll through page after page of various outfits.
That's how you discover this particular Blessing - a fourteenish-year-old kid desperate to figure out who you are and to feel comfortable in your own skin. You look in the mirror wishing to be something else - anyone else - and the outfit changes to something far more fashionable than the generic sweater and jeans you're wearing.
That's how you get stuck in brightly-colored athleisure styled clothes - dotted in happy phrases and bold patterns, Usually comfy but sometimes form fitting - for what you now declare was an embarrassingly long time (it was like a month, tops).
People always tell you you're a people person and you're not. Or you are, but people are naturally overwhelming. You like going home after school or to a park...
But, see, as an amnesiac the counselor super pushes you for extra-curriculars. Something about having something to do afterschool and making friends. You decided book club was good for it and you... don't often go, honestly. It's one of those days where at the end of school they call you in and talk about things so begrudgingly you decide to go.
You've only by coincidence read the book for this day - you love adventure novels.
So that's encouraging but so is the fact there's a new boy in the club from the last time you were there. Your first instinct is that he's cute. Not like a crush or love at first sight or anything, but definitely cute enough to look at. Which you do once. Or twice.
And then you're broken off into pairs to talk about the chapters you're on and by coincidence you're with him. He's nice, you decide then. And maybe a little sad for reasons you can't quite piece together, but you enjoy talking to him. You think that when he smiles it brightens the room.
It feels easy talking to him. Like maybe he could really be a friend - as the counselor keeps telling you that you should find - and when the meeting ends you smile more easily at him as you agree: see you next time. He smiles now and -
Yeah, you were definitely right. His smile could definitely light up a room. After this day, you don't miss a meeting.
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POST-AMNESIA
— fashion
— books