restitui | limelight

[ dramatic gasp ]

Sir, that's practically a criminal offense.

[snorts]

I've already missed like a month and a half, they can deal.

I can't believe you, you've gone rogue.

It's a good thing Holy Order does not actually have a prison cell on ship, just an animal therapy room. You'd have too much fun there, so you can't be locked up there either.

I got away from them once, I can do it again.

A rebel.

[ leans into him. ]

I like that, but I'm glad you got away from them too. So, school - you're going to go straight back?

[leans into him in turn]

That's the plan, yeah. I know there's a lot happening in the present... But I want to focus on the future, too, even if things seem pretty bad right now.

There's nothing wrong with that. Why do you think I've been studying so much?

Sounds like you want to come back to school with me...?

[a little teasing]

[ hmm ]

I don't know, we'll see each other a lot less if we're in school.

—Oh, the class difference. True...

And I'll be trapped between Nightingale and Starling again, true torture.

[ a beat. ]

Actually, school might not be so bad now?

Yeah? How so?

Because now I have these things.

[ he puts the earbuds on the table! ]

They're not working right now and I wouldn't wear them around you unless you asked me, too.

Ah - yeah, that makes complete sense. I hope they work for you if you do decide to go back.

Hopefully, they'll let me wear them.

— But if you're going back, so am I.

You sure? You absolutely don't have to, I was joking before.

Even if I decided to graduate early - it doesn't mean I couldn't enjoy an indefinite amount of time as a normal high school kid with my normal high school boyfriend in a normal high school?

[ yes he says it that way on purpose as he looks away sheepishly: ] If you wanted.

[squeezes his hand]

Of course I'd love that, if it's what you want too.

[ Squeezing his hand back, earnestly: ]

Wouldn't suggest it if I didn't.

Was that the only thing you wanted to talk about?

Actually, um - I don't think I'm going to do it immediately, but I wanted to give you a heads up beforehand that I'm thinking of starting the visions again.

[ very minor tensing. ]

Yeah? You should, if you're ready, I mean. And I'll want to hear about it, of course, if you want me to.

Is there... any reason? Or do you just feel it's time?

After that last Performance, it's kind of like... I don't want my Family to feel like they have to treat me like a kid. And maybe I've kind of been treating myself like that for waiting so long?

And then I was thinking, like, so many bad things happen here and we never know when or how they're going to. But even if I watch all of mine and it ends with the worst case scenario, at least that's one more thing that won't be hanging over my head. Once I know for sure, I can... I don't know, start to move on if I need to. You know?

[ he listens carefully, squeezing his hand after a moment offers quietly: ]

I don't think watching visions is going to make them stop treating you like a kid. Even if all you see is bad things, that's probably going to make them want to protect you more. But I def get that feeling.

... and the rest of it, of course. We talked about it right? No matter what happens to them we're still here. It's yours and you have to face it sometime - and good or bad we'll all be here for you.

No, I know. It's less that I think it'll change how they act and more that... I don't know. It just feels weird wanting them to think I can handle things when I've kind of been avoiding something that big, if that makes more sense.

[nodding, and giving his hand a squeeze in turn]

Yeah. Whatever happens - you'll be the first to hear about it once I know.

It'll change how you feel? How you perceive yourself? For the record, everyone treats visions differently. I think it's still pretty brave to be able to go "no this isn't for me and I don't want to handle it right now," versus obsessively looking at them. Speaking as the obsessive one.

Hopefully, it'll be something you're happy to tell me about.

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