[He isn't sure what to truly say at that, because he knows it comes from this selflessness that Billy possesses that is wildly in opposition to everything that Snow knows, has been trained into him to take the resources he needs (and thinks he deserves by virtue of his legacy). He shakes his head though, trying to reiterate it. It's not that he doesn't care about Lucy Gray, but he doesn't want Billy to think like that either.]
Don't do that. [He tries to stop him, reaching out across the table to put a hand on his.] Don't be selfless, because you think I would be happy. I know you care about that. Why you make pancakes in the morning and always have bread and snacks around. How I somehow never have to ask for what I need, but soap and clothes end up in drawers and cupboards. I know why you do it, and you deserve to say what you want, too.
[Because Billy's self worth matters to Coriolanus in that he sees the other as deserving and worthy-- more so than most people that Coriolanus doesn't even look at.]
[ Billy frowns but it's the hand atop his that makes him start enough to look up. His heart in his throat, as it so often is when it's Coriolanus who reaches out in these small moments first, but it's more than that. He flushes as the other goes on and dips his head in guilty admission. He's not wrong, as much as he wants to give him and to see him happy, it's also simply easier to put others first. ]
[You deserve to say what you want, too Coriolanus says and he swallows hard. He's taken back several months ago, to a text from Clint that made him cry for an evening. You deserve to exist, too. His heart truly must be caught in his throat because it's hard to swallow and his eyes burn with unshed tears -
Because he doesn't want to do that. He wants to say that this is about Coriolanus, not him, and he knows how stressful this must be. But there's a different answer that comes, a different answer the other wanted for him as he exhales a little more shakily than he'd like. ]
[He's glad that he does speak up, that he doesn't try and push it away. Coriolanus wants him to be more selfish. His smile looks a little proud as he sits back, hand still on the other's. Good. At least they're on the same level here. He might not have verbalized it in the same way, but he also knows that Billy knows.]
You won't. I'm right here. In your kitchen. Eating your pancakes. Which are pretty damn good.
[He can add pancakes to the list of things that Coryo does, indeed, like.]
I'm happy right here.
magically preserved soup so coryo never goes hungry
[ The smiles Coriolanus fixes him with makes his heart melt a little. The answer was the right choice even if it feels unbelievably selfish. He laughs, only slightly scratchy, but genuine as he grins at him. ]
Our kitchen, technically, but noted. [He counters lightly. He will remember that the other likes pancakes, just as he likes soup. Nothing can go wrong here. He swallows, still smiling.]
[He doesn't need to be an empath to see just how happy Billy is, and while it's hard for him to step outside of himself, he also does realize he needs to work on paying more attention to it. Coriolanus said his piece, and Billy spoke truthfully. He knows where they stand.
So his hand gets a little pat before he's turning back to the pancakes, because he can't let them go to waste either.]
Then we'll go from here. [He doesn't expect it to be so easy, but they have a starting point. Nothing has changed from the last conversation they've had on the subject. About a future. About being here together.]
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soup lmao soup ends up in the drawers i'm crying
Don't do that. [He tries to stop him, reaching out across the table to put a hand on his.] Don't be selfless, because you think I would be happy. I know you care about that. Why you make pancakes in the morning and always have bread and snacks around. How I somehow never have to ask for what I need, but soap and clothes end up in drawers and cupboards. I know why you do it, and you deserve to say what you want, too.
[Because Billy's self worth matters to Coriolanus in that he sees the other as deserving and worthy-- more so than most people that Coriolanus doesn't even look at.]
drawer soup delicious
[ You deserve to say what you want, too Coriolanus says and he swallows hard. He's taken back several months ago, to a text from Clint that made him cry for an evening. You deserve to exist, too. His heart truly must be caught in his throat because it's hard to swallow and his eyes burn with unshed tears -
Because he doesn't want to do that. He wants to say that this is about Coriolanus, not him, and he knows how stressful this must be. But there's a different answer that comes, a different answer the other wanted for him as he exhales a little more shakily than he'd like. ]
I want you. I don't want to lose you.
as long as it doesn't spoil xD
You won't. I'm right here. In your kitchen. Eating your pancakes. Which are pretty damn good.
[He can add pancakes to the list of things that Coryo does, indeed, like.]
I'm happy right here.
magically preserved soup so coryo never goes hungry
Our kitchen, technically, but noted. [He counters lightly. He will remember that the other likes pancakes, just as he likes soup. Nothing can go wrong here. He swallows, still smiling.]
I'm happy here, too.
you saw nothing but reheated soup and pancakes
So his hand gets a little pat before he's turning back to the pancakes, because he can't let them go to waste either.]
Then we'll go from here. [He doesn't expect it to be so easy, but they have a starting point. Nothing has changed from the last conversation they've had on the subject. About a future. About being here together.]