[ Billy tilts his head away, hands burrowing into his pockets as he tries to ignore the sensations that come off of Cliff. They're not new ones. And rather the other boy realizes it or not, by living with him, Billy's way more aware of this stuff than he was before and Cliff isn't usually quiet. In any sense of the word. The guilt ways on him, the knowledge that there's people he knows who did probably do something - though he's yet to confront either. ]
[ He's not going to tell Cliff that, though, because he wants to hope it's not the case. And then - well - it complicates matters, doesn't it? ]
[ But he wonders what he's done to earn trust that Cliff so frequently doesn't want to give others. Cliff didn't even meet him in the beginning, not really, and now - Now, he's grateful for him even if he doesn't think the other boy will want to hear it. He thinks showing him this is some weird sense of gratefulness, too. ]
[ `If you're not going to...` His head tilts upwards, mouth twitching. At least the other doesn't argue with him about it, even if he thinks he's soft. An exhale. ]
I'll help, but it's going to be hard. There's not a lot of, say, non-perishable food here and water goes bad. Maybe there's some magick to figure out but...
[ A beat. ]
I'm not going to let you go through anything alone.
[Cliff responds to the most important thing that Billy says first.]
...Water goes bad?
[This seems absurd. Water was water. It had no right to go bad. There was absolutely no reason for it to do that; completely unreasonable thing to be participating in, really. He swings around, his expressive face softening into a relieved smile.]
Yeah?
[Whether he takes it this way or not, 'soft' is Cliff's way of acknowledging certain things about Billy. Acknowledging that Billy was kind, kinder than anyone really should be. That it was this kindness that had laid the path to the friendship between them, even if it wasn't exactly Billy at first. That Billy was the one who refused to allow Cliff's self-hatred and anger to swallow him, that he always tried to bring out the good in him.
That was soft. And gently mocking though it was (this is how Men Show Affection, after all), it is an acknowledgment that Billy is a far better person than Cliff could ever hope to be. An affectionate nickname, laced in faux derision.
And it was why he wouldn't ask Billy to participate in his rage-fueled justice-seeking interrogation. Even if he could. It wasn't something Billy would do. He knew that well enough.]
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[ He's not going to tell Cliff that, though, because he wants to hope it's not the case. And then - well - it complicates matters, doesn't it? ]
[ But he wonders what he's done to earn trust that Cliff so frequently doesn't want to give others. Cliff didn't even meet him in the beginning, not really, and now - Now, he's grateful for him even if he doesn't think the other boy will want to hear it. He thinks showing him this is some weird sense of gratefulness, too. ]
[ `If you're not going to...` His head tilts upwards, mouth twitching. At least the other doesn't argue with him about it, even if he thinks he's soft. An exhale. ]
I'll help, but it's going to be hard. There's not a lot of, say, non-perishable food here and water goes bad. Maybe there's some magick to figure out but...
[ A beat. ]
I'm not going to let you go through anything alone.
At least, as long as I have a choice.
no subject
...Water goes bad?
[This seems absurd. Water was water. It had no right to go bad. There was absolutely no reason for it to do that; completely unreasonable thing to be participating in, really. He swings around, his expressive face softening into a relieved smile.]
Yeah?
[Whether he takes it this way or not, 'soft' is Cliff's way of acknowledging certain things about Billy. Acknowledging that Billy was kind, kinder than anyone really should be. That it was this kindness that had laid the path to the friendship between them, even if it wasn't exactly Billy at first. That Billy was the one who refused to allow Cliff's self-hatred and anger to swallow him, that he always tried to bring out the good in him.
That was soft. And gently mocking though it was (this is how Men Show Affection, after all), it is an acknowledgment that Billy is a far better person than Cliff could ever hope to be. An affectionate nickname, laced in faux derision.
And it was why he wouldn't ask Billy to participate in his rage-fueled justice-seeking interrogation. Even if he could. It wasn't something Billy would do. He knew that well enough.]
Thanks.
...Knew I could count on you.